‘One of the greatest deceptions we can believe is that we are what we do and that our value is rooted in what we accomplish.’Andrew Voigt, Relevant Magazine (2021)
So I’m a perfectionist and it’s not a good thing. I’m no longer going to offer a sheepish smile, lowkey proud if someone else should notice this trait in me. Because not only did I learn that it is closely associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but it also hinders God’s control over my life because I end up fighting for control of the steering wheel rather than truly truly, TRULY letting Jesus take the wheel instead of just singing it.
My current read is an incredible book written by Peter Scazzero called, ‘Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.’ When I say this book is giving me gbas-gbos? In fact I don’t even know which one is more painful, the gbas or the gbos. *sobs in ‘refiner’*
But on a real, it’s such a heavy lesson in realising that everything I assumed were hallmarks of the Christian life needs to be re-examined. One of the key ones being this concept of ‘doing for God instead of being with God.’ Peter (first name basis and that yadiggg) defines it as 1 of the ten symptoms of unhealthy spirituality he discusses in depth within the book.
‘Our experiential sense of worth and validation gradually shifts from God’s unconditional love for us in Christ to our works and performance. The joy of Christ gradually disappears.’Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (2017)
Bruh…when I say I was rattled when I read this. I even knew what excerpt to include because I had to put exclamation marks next to it like, ‘Wooooooow. So Tolz you’ve really become (as Peter calls it) a ‘human doing’ and lost your sense of living as a ‘human being.’
God doesn’t only show up when I get that job or when I graduate. He shows up in the every day, in the here and now, in the seconds that have passed as I type. He shows up because He just is. And what He desires from us more than anything is a sincere heart spending quality time with Him, pulling a Mary and prioritising Him amidst the business and undisputedly valid tasks we may have to complete within the day.
‘Our activity for God can only properly flow from a life with God.’Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (2017)
But I’m learning that anything I have to do couldn’t even be done effectively if I haven’t spent quality time with Him, if I haven’t gleaned wisdom from His word and if I haven’t spent time just worshipping, just gassing Him for all that He’s done but even better, all that He is.
I’m learning that a relationship that is based on ‘doing’ is actually quite regimented, rule-based and boring. Sometimes, those convos about a TV series are actually necessary to relieve the tension of them ‘what am I doing with my life’ conversations. Don’t get me wrong, those conversations are important and valid but I’m learning that simply being, spending time talking to God about everything on my mind, going on nature walks (I’m a nature girl now guys lmaoooo) and just enjoying His presence really is equally important.
‘Doing for God in a way that is proportionate to our being with God is the only pathway to a pure heart and seeing God.’Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (2017)
In a world where ‘success’ is the soup of the day and the word ‘purpose’ has become quite triggering for many, let’s be still and know that He is still God.
Surrender your anxiety!Psalm 46:10 TPT
Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God.
I am the God above all the nations,
and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth.
Let’s prioritise being with Him and watch as He enables us to do far more than we could every imagine, through the power He graciously gives us through the Holy Spirit.
‘We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.’Proverbs 16:9 NLT
SOUND OF JERICHO
‘Distance’ by Cortes: So I’m on a journey to appreciate Christian-based music more and on this voyage, I’ve found some amazing tracks and artists. One of them being ‘Distance’ by Cortes, a Romans 12:1-esque reminder that encourages us to move and do but at God’s pace, obeying His word and following His will.
Surrender is the ethos behind this song and I hope you enjoy it as you examine ways in which you are still holding on to the need to control your life when the real gag is:
Peace & Love,