I didn’t know I was coveted
I didn’t know it would feel so uncomfortable
Moving to this new place
Where my race made me a face
on every guy’s favourite magazine
Forcefully, without my own choice
You see,
I was an Italian man’s dream it seemed
But his dream - was my nightmare
Something I fear to share even with myself
Because it’s still there
The discomfort
Like a lump in my throat
Attention is what I craved
Yet what I wanted most
Ended up feeling like I was locked in a cave
An animal whom people guffawed at
Smiled at
Took photos of
Noticed a bit too much
Was I being difficult?
Was I asking for too much?
Were my cries for them to be blind
To me, my skin, my colour
A sin?
I didn’t know.
I went there blindsided
Hurt by the truth
But moreso confused
Was I the newest gelato flavour?
Was I their new ‘muse’?
I didn’t know.
Was this always the case?
Was my presence always too overwhelming to face?
I didn’t know.
Honest to God, I didn’t.
I wish I never did
I wish I remained in my bliss
Ignorance - that is.
