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LOVE IS…not nice

Love is to be sincere and active [the real thing—without guile and hypocrisy].

Romans 12:9 AMP

Did you know that the word ‘nice’ is derived from the Latin ‘nescius’ which is translated as “ignorant”?


I’m learning that the word ‘nice’ was never once associated with ‘love’ in God’s word. Love is intentional, a call to action. It’s mindful of people, it’s genuine.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.

1 John 4:18 NLT

Love doesn’t endure situations in the names of being ‘nice’ because love is fearless and will transcend beyond niceties to say or do things with kindness. Sometimes being kind to a person means being honest with them, it means wanting them to know the truth. 

It means being open to correction and not choosing to feel attacked when such correction isn’t presented a neat, “nice” package. Being nice is a default of mine, it’s what has made me bite my tongue for years out of the fear of looking what I thought was the opposite of nice – rude. But now I’m learning that the opposite of nice is actually kindness. Nice-ness is a false illusion of what kindness truly looks and feels like. Kindness is endless, it’s a bounty of selfless affection and care for someone. It’s not based on circumstances whereas being nice is a reactionary thing. It’s done in the names of keeping up an appearance and really and truly a product of fear. 

Love is kind.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Okay, let me give an example. Let’s say my friend asks me for advice. The “nice” thing to do here would be to say everything I think they want to hear, to be a ‘yes-friend’ who jumps when they say jump and to essentially never shake tables out of the fear of conflict. However love in its purest form, it’s kindest most genuine form would not react like this. Love would not even think twice about being honest and saying what they truly think because ultimately if a friend is asking for advice – they’re asking to hear your voice and opinion on the matter, not to hear a resounding echo of their own thoughts. Therefore love supersedes the niceties that many of us find ourselves falling into because we want to save face and we don’t want to create a space for true vulnerability. Ironically that’s where true freedom and vindication lies.

and the truth will set you free.

John 8:32 ESV

Okay so I’m not suggesting that we say things in an offensive manner and cover it up with a “I’m just being honest!” But rather what I’m saying is, to let love lead us. Let love in its truest form – a force that doesn’t bite its tongue, doesn’t overthink, brings a sense of peace, articulates itself with patience and is therefore slow to anger, is absolutely focused on being selfless and celebrates when the truth wins. Let that kinda love be what reigns in our lives. 

Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong.

1 Corinthians 13:6 TPT

I personally feel it would be wrong to assume that by being “nice” you are loving someone effectively because ultimately it’s pretence. Because everyone can be somewhat “nice.”

Everyone can put on a smile and do something “nice” but not everyone can choose to love.

Choose to love even when the object of your love doesn’t deserve it. Choose to love even when you don’t feel like it. “Being nice” gives you days off, it lets you feel and act like a bitch if you want to but love? Love takes no prisoners. It is unabashedly overwhelming and abhors “one off” situations. It is continuous, linear despite the ebbs & flows of life.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:8 NIV

That type of love cannot be taught or duplicated. There’s only one true source for it: God. And through Jesus Christ, he showed us what love really meant.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16 KJV

God is love and He came down to look like us, to teach us, to die FOR us and to commune with us. 

He loves us. 

And all he wants is for us to love him back with everything within us and to be humble enough to share that love with others, let it pour over so we can all dwell in the love fest that is His kingdom. 

Beloved, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 John 4:7 BSB

I love love. But I’m only just beginning to understand what it truly looks like. 

What does ‘love’ look like to you? 


So, struggled between two songs but quickly realised that one of them was more fitting for a ‘Let’s Be Poetic’ post, with this beautiful song that has quickly become a staple lullaby for me taking the prime spot. ‘Real Thing’ by Maverick City Music ft. Dante Bowe is a powerfully anointed song which truly needs no introduction. The first time I listened to it I was hooked from the first sentence: ‘baby steps my child, to you it might be nothing but you make Daddy proud.’ I smiled. God is truly showing me what it means to be a Father and those words continue to comfort me till this day as I come to understand that my trust in Him can never and will never be betrayed.

Then you will know that I am the Lord, and anyone who trusts in me will not be disappointed.

Isaiah 49:23 ERV

My prayer is that as you listen to this song, the Holy Spirit comforts and ministers to you in only ways He can. I pray you experience the deep love and embrace from your Father and you feel as safe as I felt knowing that our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ intercedes on our behalf.

He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. 

Hebrews 7:25 ESV

(He prays for us, wow.) I’m praying for you and sending love & peace your way. Be blessed as you listen:

By Tolz 👑

My thoughts are best expressed by writing.
So that's what I do - I write.

It's how I make sense of it all.
My prayer is that someone somewhere is blessed or is able to relate to what I write.

"Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them..." ~ Romans 12:6

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