Selfish Cells

🌙 

 no one really knows 
 the silent battles we have to face 
 the pains we have to brace 
 the storms we have to brave  

 it’s all internal 
 we can’t see it 
 yet we feel it 
 it’s within 
 

 the mental gymnastics 
 of deciding - can I handle it? 
 can we do this without 
 apologising 
 apologising for it the next day 
 when everyone’s asleep 
 and well, we’re in 
 pain 
 
 the pain of letting someone down 
 of having to turn that frown upside down 
 by force 
 because we have so much to live for 
 of course 
 

 but sometimes it’s just long 
 sometimes it’s just annoying and wrong 
 wrong to have to feel this way 
 as the weather changes 
 leaves fall 
 temperature endangers 
 species dying out 
 just like these cells 
 evaporating into thin air 
 and leaving without a care 
 
 without thinking how it would make me feel 
 to know my body is no longer made of steel because 
 you can’t protect it 
 in fact you infect it 
 you argue with each other, wrestle 
 and next thing I know I’ve been injected 
 with that morphine 
 oh that saline solution 
 the huff and puff of the oxygen mask 
 more constant & matter of fact than evolution 
 

 it’s a routine 
 the way things are 
 but not the way they should be 
 because I serve a living God 
 who says He’s healed me 
 and I don’t want to doubt Him 
 even when I shout at Him 
 cause I feel He gave me this 
 but then I realise He gives me bliss 
 
 what He gave 
 was His son 
 died on the cross 
 for all of us
 
 we’ve heard the jargon 
 we know the drill 
 we’ve heard these same things 
 we know the spiel 
 
but do we really stop to understand 
 what 'conquering the grave' really means? 
 what having 'power over death' truly is? 
 how His blood truly heals? 
 
 I don’t think I do 
 in fact I’m yet to 
 so I’m going to lay here in the bosom of his arms 
 and let his fire refine me 
 from the inside out 

 I’m gonna call on His name 
 the only name that saves 
 and pray 
 and declare 
 and say 
 
 I am healed. 
 I am sane. 
 sickle cell, have your way 
 because you won’t hurt me any longer 
 you won’t fight, vying for my attention 
 you won’t put asunder 
 
 I am redeemed 
 I’ve been set free 
 thanks be to God 
 for I am healed.