no one really knows the silent battles we have to face the pains we have to brace the storms we have to brave
it’s all internal we can’t see it yet we feel it it’s within
the mental gymnastics of deciding - can I handle it? can we do this without apologising apologising for it the next day when everyone’s asleep and well, we’re in pain
the pain of letting someone down of having to turn that frown upside down by force because we have so much to live for of course
but sometimes it’s just long sometimes it’s just annoying and wrong wrong to have to feel this way as the weather changes leaves fall temperature endangers species dying out just like these cells evaporating into thin air and leaving without a care
without thinking how it would make me feel to know my body is no longer made of steel because you can’t protect it in fact you infect it you argue with each other, wrestle and next thing I know I’ve been injected with that morphine oh that saline solution the huff and puff of the oxygen mask more constant & matter of fact than evolution
it’s a routine the way things are but not the way they should be because I serve a living God who says He’s healed me and I don’t want to doubt Him even when I shout at Him cause I feel He gave me this but then I realise He gives me bliss
what He gave was His son died on the cross for all of us
we’ve heard the jargon we know the drill we’ve heard these same things we know the spiel
but do we really stop to understand what 'conquering the grave' really means? what having 'power over death' truly is? how His blood truly heals?
I don’t think I do in fact I’m yet to so I’m going to lay here in the bosom of his arms and let his fire refine me from the inside out
I’m gonna call on His name the only name that saves and pray and declare and say
I am healed. I am sane. sickle cell, have your way because you won’t hurt me any longer you won’t fight, vying for my attention you won’t put asunder
I am redeemed I’ve been set free thanks be to God for I am healed.