Never a mistake, Always a (B)Less(ing)on 

If you get the quirky statement thingymabob that worked better in my head here then thank you! 😂 

So I recently began reading ‘The Wait’ – a Christmas present from my sister who has repeatedly advised me to do just that – wait patiently for who God is going to prepare for me at the right time. So I’m not one to talk about my relationships with guys on here because it’s quite a personal aspect of my life and though I do wear my heart on my sleeve and if we ever met in person and began talking I’d probably be willing to disclose details, I think this forum should retain its slight sense of anonymity. 

Despite that, as much as I hate when my friends remind me, I will be turning 20 this year and 20 to me brings a whole new chapter. In Nigeria, it’s when wedding bells are expected to sound and suddenly you become a ‘woman.’ To me, it simply means wearing a new pair of more mature and responsible shoes. And that’s in every aspect – including relationships. 

In the past I feel as though I’ve jumped into every situation constantly thinking ‘could he be the one’ and basically creating a life with him in my head when I should have been taking several steps back to really ask myself, ‘Tolu, what do you want?’ The absence of this has led to several mistakes which I’m not proud of but I’m happy to have made. Because through them I learnt so much about myself and my God. I learnt that taking time out to be happily single and in love with God and Tolu is a beautiful thing. 

I recently read an article about Sophia Bush – a beautiful woman whom I look up to in terms of the grace and poise she constantly exudes, and her views inspired me: 

Several boyfriends later, the 34-year-old actress writes, “I came to appreciate that relationships often serve a specific purpose at a certain point in time, for myriad reasons. Some are meant to heal you, some are meant to teach you how to build yourself up, and some are meant to show you how to trust your own intuition. You call in exactly whom and what you need over the course of your life, as you are learning life’s lessons. And learn them you will. Even if you try to avoid these teachings, they’re coming for you. This reality has taught me that the relationships that don’t lead to lifetime commitments are not failures. Not every love can last forever.”

That says it all to be very honest! I couldn’t escape from the experiences I had because I would have learnt the lesson to be had from them in a different way. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that you should be happy and whole within yourself. Find your footing and find your love in life and your degree, career, family, friends etc etc. And when it’s time, it will be time – and by God’s grace You’ll know 🙏🏽

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