When I grow up…

Wow, so much has been happening lately that still baffles and stuns me as I write this. First & foremost, I’ve ben finding that ‘growth’ is not what I thought it was. I thought it was a word permanently reserved for the distant future, maybe when aliens would finally appear on the earth like all the sci-fi movies have long predicted.

But no.

Growth is here.

Growth is now.

Growth is in the here & now.

 

So, for me I’ve been hearing a lot lately from various loved ones that “Tolu, you’ve really matured” or “Tolu, you’ve grown o!” And I’m not gonna lie but it feels really good to hear that. I would’ve never thought that evolving and developing as a person would be such an amazing compliment to me. But it is, it’s quite literally such a huge achievement that I felt so inspired and ecstatic to write about.

I think more than anything my mindset has changed. I don’t even know how to explain it exactly but maybe little anecdotes would help:

 

  1. Event Planning: So apart from recently taking a leap in my life and actually developing an event planning business of my own – a dream I had jotted in as one to be achieved “when I got older”, I’ve found that in actually going through with plans, I’ve developed this beautiful trait called ‘flexibility.’ One of my dearest friends, was telling me the other day that the Tolu she knew before, always wanted things to be a certain way and to be very honest, this is so true. If things didn’t go my way, I used to feel like my heart should just stop beating. I made inflexible, immoveable plans and I can finally admit that it was unhealthy and well – wrong! That is not the way to live life in my opinion because life is a flipping roller coaster, you can’t predict when there’ll be ups & downs, they just happen. But now I find my solace in God, who lets me know that he always has my back through it all and will always reveal that my so called ‘plans’ can never match his. He does exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever imagine. I heard today that ‘if you wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans.’ Now, I can see that visual – God having a chuckle as I go on and on about every detail of that fairytale wedding….
  2.  Anxiety: So I remember from as young as the age of 5? 6  maybe, I was that worrisome kid. I’d worry about not doing this or that to the point that my childhood teacher had to let my mum know that I need to stop worrying. I won’t lie, it’s still something I suffer with till date. However, I’ve still seen a change. I’ve experienced that transcending peace once I just leave it God’s capable hands and tell him to take care of me. It’s not easy letting go of the reins but it’s so worth it. That feeling knowing you’re covered and knowing God’s got you is one I would never give up.

 

3. General Mindset: I am a passionate soul. If I’m interested in something or someone, I mean I am INTERESTED. So in terms of various views that have come my way – especially during my time at Warwick, I’ve felt a lot of the time like to be able to truly say I hold a certain opinion, I have to basically become a radical. But after watching Summer Break 4 this summer where other teens expressed how their opinions change and aren’t meant to be fixed, I’ve found that I feel the exact same way. I’ve begun to turn to the Bible for my answers, and it feels so much better to have such a source as my new ‘Google’ because it really provides a sense of clarity to those strong views I held earlier. I’ve taken pride in daily equipping myself to become not only the strongest woman I can be but the strongest woman OF GOD.

 

So that’s basically where my mind is at now. It may change, it may evolve. In fact, *may = will. But one thing will remain the same, I am a child of God, I am a Christian and I am unashamed of this fact.

 

I hope to continue to grow and mature in Christ.

 

Where do you see growth in your life?

 

Peace & Love,

 

T

 

xx

 

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