So, I live with a disease called ‘Sickle Cell Anaemia.’ I love to pretend to myself that it doesn’t bother me and I can discuss it but to be completely honest, even typing that gave me the chills. I don’t know why but for the longest time I’ve considered it to be my flaw, my skeleton, my ‘A’ on my chest.
But it’s not.
As hard as that is for me to admit, it’s not. Recently, I haven’t been 100% in terms of health, it’s felt like a roller coaster cause I’ve quite literally gone up and down – some days I feel like I could run a marathon and some days I just want to curl up in a ball and (in the words of Philip Larkin), ‘lie where Loneliness clarifies.’ However, I’m forcing myself to embrace a new mindset. I want it to become my strength. I want to be able to say, I completed my A-levels whilst battling the stress and pain that comes with living with this disease, and I don’t want having it to scare me anymore.
This is what I want. Actually possessing this mindset is the hard part but I feel more determined than I’ve ever been to adopt it. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Peace & Love,