So I like cutesy things, I mean I can’t deny how much I adore every Disney movie, the Minions and stuffed teddy bears. I’m still a kid at heart at times. But is it weird that I kinda get irritated when I’m referred to as ‘innocent’ twice in one day?
I mean, the word ‘innocent’ should be a good thing right? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary it means:
‘free from guilt or sin especially through lack of knowledge of evil e.g. (an innocent child)’
Okay I just admitted that I’m a kid at heart but I know that in reality I’m a 16 (17 in 2 days, woop woop!) year old girl who’s in her first year of A-levels. Doesn’t that tell people that I can be mature as well? I mean I’m not stupid, I do know what sex is-I was taught about it in Years 5 and 6 like everyone else.
I feel like in most people’s eyes, if you haven’t partied to the point of getting drunk or kissed/gone further with a guy then you’re not classified as a normal teenager. Fair enough, that seems to be the ‘norm’ these days but I haven’t done any of those simply because I really don’t want to and when it’s time for it, it will be time for it.
I sound really adamant with my views, but believe me with the number of ‘you’re so innocent’, ‘you’re a disney princess’ comments I get; it really makes me fear whether I’m still stuck in my child-like world. In my mind, the only way to stop these comments is to prove these people wrong but then I know that’s stupid because that will mean me not being true to myself.
It’s all quite confusing to me. I think this is partly why I’m afraid to be myself around people. It’s because they already have the preconceived notion that ‘Tolu is a good girl’ and so if I were to say or do something out of this ‘good mould’ then I feel like I’d get reprimanded for it and people would just have a reason to talk more.
My mum always tells me you can’t please everyone. I know that, but I just can’t help the irritation I feel when people narrow me down to the ‘good girl’, the ‘innocent one’, the ‘disney princess’.
I guess maybe if I try as hard as possible to stay true to who I am and possibly accept that I am ‘good’ to a certain extent it won’t bother me as much.
I can only hope this works.
Peace & Love,