So, I am currently in my first year of A-levels and one of the subjects I study is English literature. Trust me when I say that it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life, but its challenging nature is intriguing and its something that makes me love it even more.
Anyway, so right now, I’m in the middle of preparing a piece of coursework that’s focused on comparing Woolf’s ‘To the Lighthouse’ and Plath’s ‘Ariel’ and man are these writers hardcore. I chose a question which looks at exploring how they present an aspiration towards a so-called female ideal and my brain seriously hurts because I get it and then I think about it some more and it’s gone. The question basically calls for me to discuss how females are always looking to a specific ideal and it just made me realize how true that is.
I don’t think there’s ever been a point in my life where I’ve been wholly satisfied with my situation. I’m constantly looking towards ‘what’s next’. The biggest example I can use is with shopping. I find myself clicking on ‘new in’ subconsciously even after just purchasing something! I’ll admit now, (which will probably bring joy to my sisters) that I’m shopaholic. There, I said it-but I don’t have to be.
Why does there always have to be an ideal? I mean I know it’s good to look towards the future and planning doesn’t hurt either but will there ever be a time where I think “okay, I have enough” or “okay, I’m satisfied with my life.” I sincerely pray there will be because Woolf and Plath seemed to have been driven crazy by their need to conform to the impossible.
Jeremiah 29:11 says:
‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’
That, I think is the greatest reassurance. It lets me believe that it is all in HIS hands at the end of the day and so taking one step at the time is honestly the only way to deal with life. Even if you don’t believe there’s a God, that is still extremely applicable to you.
I feel like I’ve just jumped topics and this whole thing is a ramble. Let’s be honest it totally is! but it’s more than just gibberish, it’s a ramble exposing my inner thoughts. It’s my ‘stream of consciousness’. -I guess Woolf and Plath aren’t so bad after all. I mean we’re all a little crazy right?
Peace & Love,